tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73477857865569220852024-03-13T04:06:10.882-07:00C'est la Vie! Aisha http://www.blogger.com/profile/10064839444177094891noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7347785786556922085.post-80019822656774434462017-04-26T10:02:00.001-07:002017-04-26T10:10:06.699-07:00The Clock is Ticking <div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I was
cleaning up my inbox and came across an article my sister sent me a year ago about the importance of work-life balance. The body of the email had a saying
(Hadith) from the Prophet Muhammad PBUH about understanding that every aspect
of our life has rights upon us – family, friends, our bodies, and of course, our
Lord has rights upon us too. The Hadith, as further explained by the author,
highlights the point that when we weigh our responsibilities in one area more
than the other (such as work for example), the price to pay, obviously, is that
our other responsibilities suffer. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
One area
that I think many of us, myself included, undermine is sleep. For many years, I
would run on four to five hours of sleep, and compensate my tiredness with a triple <i>Venti Vanilla Latte</i>. In those years, without
a doubt, I would get sick at least five to six times a year, and literally go to the
doctor and ask her to prescribe me antibiotics, because I didn’t have “time”
to get sick. But it wasn’t until I truly stopped to figure out what was going
on, that I realized, after many scoldings from family and friends, that I
couldn’t keep functioning at this sleep-deprived-caffeinated pace. My body needed sleep, and islamically, my
body also had this right upon me that I was so seamlessly denying. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
In Islam,
(took me a while to figure out, but hey, better late than never right!), God
has created a balanced lifestyle for us. Even when it comes to our spiritual
responsibilities, Allah SWT has made it realistic plan for us to balance our
worship to Him (five beautiful times throughout the day), while also fulfilling
our responsibilities here on earth - earning an honest income, providing for
our families, and enjoying time with friends and family. <br />
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Aside from this invaluable and timeless lesson
that I have sitting in my inbox, I also have the one liner my sister sent me
along with this email. It simply said this:<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br />
"This one is for you right now."</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
My response back to her at the time was,
"Word [I was pretending to be cool by saying "worrdd"], I slept
yesterday." <span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Fast forward to this very moment right now. I
came on to start blogging and found a blog post in my drafts folder. I opened
it up, and all it had was the title you see before you: "<i>The Clock Is
Ticking</i>." As I think back to the time my sister sent me this email, my
response to her, and the title of the then, un-finished blog post, I can't help
but wonder - can I truly say that every single aspect of my life, whether it be
my relationships, my work and/or my community work, and sleep too - are they all constantly
worked upon with the intention of presenting it to Allah SWT one day as a form of worship, hoping
that will it grant me entry into paradise? I can't say that I consciously go to bed every night thinking this is a form of worship too, and then get
up every morning and think that I'm doing x, y, z for the sake of Allah SWT, and I'm going to keep my relationship with x, y, z based on these Islamic
principles and values.<span style="font-size: 18px;"> </span>But perhaps this is why, it was Allah SWT's plan that
I come across this Hadith to remind myself first and foremost, that yes, while
I love being busy and doing 50 things at once, I need to reflect on the various aspects of my life, and
ensure I'm giving each aspect it's due right. It is also a timely
reminder, with the blessed month of Ramadan not too far away, inshAllah, to
reflect on things I do, and in turn, we all do, and how it's truly preparing us
for our after-life. </div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br />
Just some reflections....and with that, I shall
give my body it's due right, and go to sleep. </div>
Aisha http://www.blogger.com/profile/10064839444177094891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7347785786556922085.post-86451020209532093402016-09-20T21:06:00.002-07:002016-09-21T06:35:25.947-07:00Post-Single Life Relfection Yes - it's completely intentional that my last post was about the single life, and now, here I am, writing from the married life perspective.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Before I got married, people used to tell me don't worry, once you get married, it'll all be perfect. After I got married, a few of my single friends would look at me with a longing look, asking me if it was all over-rated or if it's actually really awesome. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
This one is for all the single folks - the truth is marriage is amazing alhamdullilah. But, there's a lot that the facebook posts and new couple pictures don't show (yes, I'm guilty of this too :D). </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Here's a brief snippet: </div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>You have to have a complete work-life balance overhaul </li>
<li>You now have to manage two of everything</li>
<li>You have to figure out the "we-time" and the "me-time" </li>
<li>You have to figure out time management</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
The point is - I wrote it in my previous post, and I'll write it again here - Allah swt has a time and place for everything - including marriage. Have faith and know that at the right place, and at the right time, the right person will come along; now that I reflect back to a couple of years ago, I know without a doubt that I would never have been able to survive or even know how to cope with the changes that come with marriage. But today, in this very moment, I thank God for his epic timing - I couldn't have planned it any better; and know that for you too, He has a plan. Trust Him. </div>
Aisha http://www.blogger.com/profile/10064839444177094891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7347785786556922085.post-3259759839117734072015-11-11T12:28:00.003-08:002015-11-11T12:31:13.148-08:00Single Life - Community Reflection I write this post not as Aisha, but as a single woman. It's a very short and simple message:<br />
<br />
Over the years, I've met countless women and their stories when it comes to marriage and why they're not married (not that I ever asked). Here's just a snippet of what they had to say:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>I haven't met the right person yet</li>
<li>I'm in the recruitment phase and it's taking longer than I expected (aka. trying to find someone)</li>
<li>I'm not ready</li>
<li>Not right now - School, Work, Career etc.</li>
</ul>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Just like no one blatantly asks married people why they haven't had babies yet (well they do - that's a whole different topic but you get my point), let's quit asking the single women (and men) in our communities why they're not married yet. If they want to share their story with you, they will. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
But let's not be nosy. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And for all of us single men and women out there, remember that at the right place, and at the right moment, God will send the right person along. Not in the time you think is good. In His time. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And until that happens, don't wallow or put your life on hold. Marriage is one aspect of life - there's so much more! Go out and remember why God put you on this planet. To worship and submit to Him - let that be a reminder to you every day when you go to work, when you go into the community - believe that and act upon it, and I promise you, that will be more than enough for you to focus your life. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Aisha http://www.blogger.com/profile/10064839444177094891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7347785786556922085.post-72082972668297648692015-03-29T21:40:00.002-07:002015-03-29T21:40:24.669-07:00God's Perfection - Trust and Hope I went to a salon recently to get a haircut. It was clear from the way the owner looked - an old white man - that he may not be aware of the needs of a muslim woman who covered her hair. This was clearly a fault on my part when it came to assuming the worst of our society as of late, especially with all the anti-Islam rhetoric we're seeing through niqab controversy to say the least. Anyways, the man looked at me and asked if I would require a private room and I said yes. He then took me to the back area and said ok, if you'd like to wash your hair, you can get that done but the only issue is the men are here; I'll just ask them to look away from you - would that be comfortable for you? I kindly declined, saying that I wouldn't be comfortable and that I'd be fine with a cut in the room, without a wash. He then looked at me and said you know what, how about one of us will hold a cloth, curtain type around you so no one can see and then you can head into the back room right away to get your haircut. I looked at him, ever so grateful for being so innovative and ready to accommodate me. I then smiled and told him, it would have to be a female holding the cloth and not him and he, without any hesitation, agreed right away. And so it happened - one woman washed my hair while another one held the cloth up so men couldn't see. And as I was getting my hair washed, I thought of how, despite all the negativity we see in the media, our city and our communities are filled with good, kind-hearted souls who are here to help and support one another.<br />
<br />
The lady who was cutting my hair shared her story with me. I didn't say much and just listened to her story. She told me how she came from Lebanon with her two kids for her ex in her late 20s to Toronto. Left alone after coming to Toronto with two kids, she struggled - she told me a couple of times how difficult and challenging her life was for her. She told me about people who always wanted to put her down and didn't want her to succeed. But she told me twice, that if it wasn't for God by her side, she wouldn't be where she is today. No matter what struggle she went through, she would always find God by her side.<br />
<br />
My sister a couple of days ago told me to just open the Quran to a random page and so I did; I landed upon the passage in the Quran where God tells us the beginning of the story of Prophet Musa (Moses) and the commandment his mother followed through on:<br />
<br />
Chapter 20, Verse 38-40:<br />
<br />
"When we inspired your mother with that which We inspired; Saying: Put him into a box and put it into the river (Nile); then the river shall cast it up on the bank and there, an enemy of mine and an enemy of theirs shall take him. And I endued you with love from Me, in order that you may be brought up under My Eye; When your sister went and said: Shall I show you one who will nurse him? So we restored you to your mother, that she might cool her eyes and she might not grieve"<br />
<br />
Behold - God's perfection - from the interactions we have to the verses we read - time and time again, remind us to have trust and faith in Him and Him alone.Aisha http://www.blogger.com/profile/10064839444177094891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7347785786556922085.post-57300111525552072162014-08-24T16:00:00.002-07:002014-08-24T16:01:27.980-07:00Seek. Aspire. Accomplish. "What do you wanna do when you grow up?"<br />
<div>
"I want to change the world" </div>
<div>
"One person can't change the world. Stop and relax - sleep, eat, and enjoy life" </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socraetes</div>
<div>
<br />
--</div>
<div>
I've been on this mission for about two years now to figure out what it is I want to do with my life, and finding a career path where I can give back to the community and make a meaningful difference. I've met many other young adults who are struggling with the same challenge and are out, just like I am, in search of an answer.<br />
<br />
The reality of the situation is that it's going to be challenging finding this fulfillment and desire no matter where you go or what you choose to do; you could be on the ground working in the community, as a front line worker. As rewarding an experience it is to come home each day knowing you made a difference in someone's life, this path comes with it's own set of challenges - overworked, underpaid, funding issues, and the list continues. You may choose to pursue a path in for-profit organizations and government; here, again, while the pay may be great, you may feel demoralized with the work, unmotivated because you may feel that you're so far removed from the reality of things...<br />
<br />
I write the above to make a very simple point which I've learnt from some very important and valuable people in my life; find something you love to do; what excites you every morning and every night; what is that "thing" that when you talk about it or read about, you can't stop and want to keep doing more and more? Once you find that "thing," no matter where you choose to work, you'll make a difference in the lives of people whether you may see it or not - whether it be on the ground, working with them one-on-one, or on a more strategic and systemic level.<br />
<br />
I'll leave with one last point someone told me that hit really close to home. The problem with our generation is that we're so obsessed with changing the world and making large strides through our volunteer and regular work that we lose sight and focus of the little things we do in life that have an impact on others; whether it be something as simple as holding the door for someone or giving a dollar to a homeless person, or speaking out on an issue like violence. Take each day as it comes, with a commitment to making a difference - no matter how small or how big. This is not to say that we don't plan for the future; of course, we must do that and that's an important aspect of success - but do that while using each day as a stepping stone, leading up to that - and enjoying every moment.<br />
<br />
For at the end of the day, it's really about those small moments that come to define us as we create our big moments.<br />
--<br />
<br />
"Life is tough, that's a given. When you stand up, you're going to be shoved back down. When you're down, you're going to be stepped on. My advice to you doesn't come to you with a lot of bells and whistles; It's no secret: you'll fall down, you'll stumble, you'll get pushed, you'll land square on your face. And every time that happens, you can and [and you must] get back on your feet. You [must] get up just as fast as you can, no matter how many times you need to do it. Remember this: success has been and continues to be defined as getting up one more time than you've been knocked down."<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Aisha http://www.blogger.com/profile/10064839444177094891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7347785786556922085.post-87650571348524048032014-05-18T14:25:00.001-07:002014-05-18T14:25:38.153-07:00Youth Suicide in the Muslim Community Yup. It exists. Read it again. Absorb it. Accept that it is an unfortunate reality of the times we live in. Now, let's start by discussing and then committing to doing something about it.<br />
<br />
The current of generation of Muslim youth are a product of mostly a previous immigrant generation. Our parents came to North America in search of a better life for us and for them in those times, it was about finding a job and putting food on the table so that we could go to school, become educated and not have to struggle as much as our parents did. As we were growing up and as our parents tried to hold on to cultural and religious values, as a society, we failed to address the challenges and peer pressures we're faced with growing up in the west.<br />
<br />
As an entire Muslim community; from within the home to the institutions we have in place (Islamic school, masjids etc), we somehow were under the impression that the Muslim youth would be immune to the mainstream pressures every single child/teenager/adult faces. The reality is that we were and we are not immune. Drugs, alcohol, the dating culture and everything associated with it...these are all the realities of Muslims today. I know young Muslim brothers and sisters who are:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Addicted to drugs and alcohol (beginning in their early high-school/university days and now in their early to mid-20s, still doing that while parents are asking them to settle down with good, religious men/women). </li>
<li>Dating and having relations outside of marriage - and yes, I'm talking about kids both inside and outside Islamic schools (yes, Islamic Schools) </li>
</ul>
<div>
The above are just two examples (I bulleted the above two points so that they would stand out). I need not go through the entire list - I'm sure you can keep the list going. The unfortunate reality is that these issues are now trickling into our society and have manifested into many more complicated problems - the immediate effects include mental health issues including depression, and when the youth can't take it anymore, suicide is the ultimate, final resort. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I know of two completed suicides of Muslim youth, and one, was ready to do so but alhamdullilah, found some support. At a lecture I was recently at, an Imam talked about how he was getting calls from Muslim families of youth who had committed suicide, and was asked to silently come, complete what was needed to be done and leave - the family not saying a word, in fear of shame of what people/society would think. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
As Muslims, one of our obligations and rights is to our neighbours. Here we are, in 2014, where Muslim youth are committing suicide and what are we doing about it? Absolutely nothing. What are we going to say to God when He asks us what we did to help them? Nothing? </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
We have to come together, unite and help the Muslim youth. They are the future of Islam and tomorrow's leaders. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It all comes down to us failing as a community. We need to realize that Muslim youth are prone and are facing the same challenges non-Muslim youth are facing. There are numerous support systems that are available for non-Muslim youth and they are able to take advantage of it. For Muslim youth, there are a two main challenges I see: </div>
<div>
<ol>
<li>If they are going through issues (drugs, alcohol etc), they know it's forbidden in Islam. As a result, out of fear, they don't talk to anybody, and don't know where to turn to for help or support. It is this lack of support and hopelessness that is potentially leading them to commit suicide.</li>
<li>Our masjids and communities - very few - have designated services, most importantly counsellors for Muslim youth who they can talk to to help sort out and work through these challenges - at a spiritual, emotional and practical level. </li>
</ol>
<div>
Alhamdullilah, I think our communities are starting to change and we have religious leaders who can relate to youth start talking about some of these issues but I have yet to see someone explicitly say, ok today's talk will be on suicide. Again, it's a taboo topic in our community but it's up to us to untaboo it so we can talk about it, make the youth who are struggling to realize that there is a way out, there is help and there is hope. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
If you're a teacher, an educator, or work with Muslim youth in any capacity, be a source of support who they can talk to - youth need someone who they can trust and relate to, and before you know it, they will open up and express their fears. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Please also refer anyone who may be going through any situation and need a confidential support, there is the Naseeha Muslim Youth Helpline (1-866-NASEEHA, http://naseeha.net/).</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I'm hoping to focus and do more work on this, so stay-tuned inshAllah. In the meantime, please feel free to comment. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />Aisha http://www.blogger.com/profile/10064839444177094891noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7347785786556922085.post-29144257229187504682014-04-23T23:31:00.000-07:002014-04-23T23:31:04.799-07:00Gratitude to the One and the Only I've been sick with the flu now for exactly 10 days, going on my 11th day today. It's so funny how frustrated we get when our worldly order is disrupted - be it as simple as the ability to get up every morning, get ready, read, pray, stare at randoms on the subway, get to the office, get work done, bond with fellow colleagues, return the same route, contemplating the worldly happenings, do some personal work, and then crash and burn, only to repeat the same routine once again. Yet, when this routine is disrupted, as has been for me for what seems like forever, it's these very moments that make us grateful for blessings we take for granted.<br />
<br />
Last week, right when I felt the comings of the flu, I remember grabbing a green tea on my way from work to see a friend at the hospital, hoping it would soothe my throat and the pounding headache, so that I could ignore it and sit with my friend. I remember taking the elevators up to a section of the hospital where every room and every bed it seems was taken up by extremely old and frail looking people - some of them had family members around them while others just lay there, helpless and quiet as they were taken care of by nurses.<br />
<br />
I had gone in to see a good friend of mine. She's approximately 27 years old and we both went to university together. She has two young little kids now who are absolutely adorable mashAllah. The journey she has been through will leave you and me speechless. Over the course of her young life, she's had 15 surgeries, two strokes, and since last week, had been in the hospital, constantly for over 2 months now - and the doctors have been trying to figure things out.<br />
<br />
I remember as I sat there, watching how frail she'd gotten over time and how much weight she'd lost, I had to fight back tears; but then I realized, the one who should be crying should be me - but I was crying for the wrong reason. I should be crying for being so ungrateful;<br />
<br />
Let me explain.<br />
<br />
As we were talking about her road to recovery, her sickness, she sat there and asked me, "Aisha, how is it outside. I haven't been outside in the last three months - and the windows here don't open for fear of people committing suicide." I joked at the time and told her she didn't miss much - it's been a brutal winter. We joked somewhere, chatted, and then I left. On my way down the elevator and this entire week - that's what I realized. We as human beings are so ungrateful. I realized I could easily be in her position. I could easily be any of those people who I saw on my way out of the hospital - paralyzed, blind, mentally disabled, blind, not able to go to the bathroom - but I'm not.<br />
<br />
And this my dear readers is the point. How many times do we get up and are truly grateful and truly say Alhamdullilah (all praise, gratitude and thanks is to the Almighty) -from our hearts- for the clothes on our back, for the food on the table, for the eyes that let us see, the hands that let us type, the heart that beats every single second for every single day, the family and friends we have....I've been sick - and I've been frustrated and fed up - but it could be worse. It could always be worse.<br />
<br />
Be grateful - someone would give up their whole life to be where you and I are today.<br />
<br />
Alhamdullialh.<br />
<br />
"And He gave you of all that you asked from Him, and if you count the Blessings of Allah, never will you be able to count them" - Quran - 14:34<br />
<br />
<br />Aisha http://www.blogger.com/profile/10064839444177094891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7347785786556922085.post-89562047253307949952014-03-22T23:21:00.003-07:002014-03-22T23:23:22.156-07:00Miracles and God - Courtesy of the Muslim Chaplaincy <div class="MsoNormal">
Every single thing around us is a miracle and one of the may
countless wonders of Allah’s (God’s) creation. Whether it be the profound way
in which our body works day in and day out to keep us going till our death, or
the way nature evolves through the different seasons. From the minute to the
bigger things in the world, we’re always taught to understand, as the Quran
teaches us, that these are all the the magnificence of Allah’s creation. But
I’m not going to lie, up until very recently, I don’t think I truly took this
heart and really contemplated about it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I recently started taking a course downtown through the
Muslim Chaplaincy at the University of Toronto called “Knowing The One,” which
explores our understanding of God, from an Islamic and theological perspective.
It was only a week or so ago, where the instructor asked us to contemplate
about miracles and our understanding of it. In the western society, if you
think about it, miracles are anything out of the ordinary. For instance, he
gave us this example about a doctor who appeared on Oprah and has been
delivering babies for a very long time, and since he’s been seeing it happen on
a regular basis day in and day out, it’s sort become a “norm” per say. But he
came on Oprah because he was talking about a miraculous case, where the baby
was born and wasn’t crying or doing anything, and then suddenly, started
crying. Given that he had never seen anything like this in his career, he
considered this to be a miracle – something out of the ordinary that he has
experienced for the first time, and therefore, as a society, we accept this to
be a miracle as well. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our entire worldview is based on our own experiences – so
similar to this doctor, first time we see a child being born, it’s a miracle,
but then you know what to expect. As such, if you witness it again, your
attitude is pretty much “meh, I knew that was going to happen.” The more I
think about this approach in our way of being and thinking, the more I realize
it to be true. I was talking to a friend about this very topic, and she shared
an incident with me; her and her husband were in an elevator in the CN Tower
and there were a group of out of towners, who were so fascinated and marvelled
being in the elevator – you could see the sheer excitement and intrigue on their
faces. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Think about this for one more second.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For us, being in an
elevator – standing and being taken up miles and miles above ground is no big
deal because of our repeated experiences that we’ve taken for granted. However,
you have people going through similar experiences, for the very first time, and
they’re in complete awe. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Back to the class, the instructor then made a comment that
has resonated with me ever since – what an arrogant way of thinking we have. If
we don’t experience something as we expect it, we claim it to be a miracle. If
we do experience it, no matter how miraculous it may be (the fact that we can
see or the way our eyes work of that matter), we expect it and thereby take it
for granted. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s all about the “<i>me,
myself and I”</i> mentality. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We fail to give thanks and gratitude to He who is always
constant, He who never ceases to exists, He who despite my thanklessness to Him
for eyes that can see, hands that can type, an intellect that can think,
parents, family, friends – continues to give and provide ways to and for me,
even with my ungrateful attitude. <o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m sitting in a plane as I type this, and as the plane was
taking off and the sun was slowly setting,
thinking and reflecting about all of this, I have only but one word –
SubhanAlalh – how absolutely perfect is all this, Alhamdullilah – all greatness
is due to Him. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Cra8RsRAFeo/Uy58rxc7x4I/AAAAAAAAAQE/hGKT-sBdh24/s1600/IMG_20140321_182930.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Cra8RsRAFeo/Uy58rxc7x4I/AAAAAAAAAQE/hGKT-sBdh24/s1600/IMG_20140321_182930.jpg" height="400" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you haven’t already heard, the Muslim Chaplaincy is
reaching out to the community to provide funding so that Muslim youth within
the university have support, guidance and access to an outlet, where spiritual
well-being can be provided. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even if you can’t commit to $30/month, given. Even if it is
a dollar today, at this very moment – because know that every single student that benefits and comes
closer to the deen, you will get reward for both. And which one of us are not
in need of His mercy? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
http://mcuoft.com/30lives/</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Aisha http://www.blogger.com/profile/10064839444177094891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7347785786556922085.post-71416609956219614012014-02-05T21:28:00.002-08:002014-02-05T21:28:37.780-08:00Attempting to Un-Taboo the Taboo Topic: Sexual Abuse She must have been seven or eight old at the time. Every day, at precisely 7 pm, she would run downstairs, past her mother, as she would ask her to slow down, so not to fall - but who could stop a wild, crazy, excited seven year old from racing down the stairs, past the roses and flowers in the garden to open the gate for her teacher who would always greet her with the words "Assalamualiakum" (May peace be with you), and would race back (or pretend to do so) up the stairs into her home. The home where she was surrounded by family members who loved her, cared for her, and protected her.<br />
<br />
Something strange began to happen. After teaching her, on occasions, he would ask her to come sit beside him. He would sometimes put his hand and rub her on her thigh. It's interesting how kids have such an amazing intuition for things that are out of the ordinary. The first time it happened, she knew it wasn't right but couldn't quite make sense of it; however, she was on radar; the following times he encouraged her to come closer, she would just treat it like a game and do whatever she needed to avoid the situation. One day though, caught off guard, she became a victim of sexual assault. From then on, she knew for a fact that what happened was just weird, uncomfortable and not right. And thankfully enough, that was the very last time. As a child though, it is these instances that become the scars inside of us as we grow older. For years, she would have nightmares about a teacher chasing her up the stairs and she would abruptly wak up, flustered, only to realize that thankfully, it was a nightmare.<br />
<br />
It was the education system that taught her exactly what sexual assault meant. It was then, when she was ten years old, that she put the pieces together and came to terms with what had happened to her. At that moment, she promised herself that she would never let the horror she lived through be a part of anyone else's journey - especially those she loved. So she went home that day and explained to her baby brother, in very simple terms, the importance of his body and who has no right to touch it. And then she locked that memory away; or so she thought...<br />
<br />
Years later, she was at a conference where a Chaplain was speaking about the issue of sexual abuse and assualt in the Muslim community; ironically enough, he talked about another young lady who came to see him, saying that she was sexually assaulted by her Quran teacher on a regular basis - and now, she had no idea how to make sense of what happened. The Chaplain (working in New York City), continued to share traumatizing stories of women and men - sexually assaulted at young ages, being raped, victimized - and having no support system within their communities or being able to talk about it.<br />
<br />
Then, it all came rushing back to her - all that she had locked away in the back of her mind - but she knew that the only way out was to address it; so she sought help; she spoke to trusted friends, family and community member, who helped her make sense of it and come to terms with it. And yes, it hurt her like you won't even believe. But like the community member explained to her (a very respected one at that) - what happens to a wound when you first try to treat it? It stings and burns and hurts; but you have to bear the first bit of pain because that's the first step to healing it; then as you put the band-aid on and continue to treat it, it will heal - with time and patience. And indeed, she healed.<br />
<br />
"Verily, along with every hardship there is relief; verily along with every hardship there is relied (i.e. there is one hardship with two reliefs)" [95:5-6]<br />
--<br />
<br />
The above are the true accounts of real people. And there are thousands upon thousands of these situations that women (and men- although we may not hear about it as often), as young children, experience. Yes, even today, in the year 2014. Just within last year, I've had conversations with two people about this issue in the community. And in the Muslim community, it's even tougher to address because it's such a taboo topic. Anything with the word "sex" in the Muslim community is synonymous with the idea of He-Who-Must-Not-be-Named (Harry Potter reference) - you can't utter it and if you do, everything and everyone comes to a standstill. But thankfully, I'm so grateful that we do have respected community elders who are talking about these issues - and not just the surface issue of sexual assault and how to address this topic, but also addressing the root causes such as the relationship between a husband and wife, the importance of respect, honour and dignity amongst both, and some of the more challenging topics such as porn addiction, domestic violence and yes, youth suicide - and yes, suicide, while not permissible in Islam, is also happening in our communities. The youth are struggling and don't know who to talk to or where to turn to for help.<br />
<br />
We need to bring back voices in our communities. We need to bring back support systems so that we can regain that sense of pride in our identity, and be able to stand bold, confident and say, "Yes I'm Muslim, yes I pray 5 times a day, and even if you paid me a million dollars, I wouldn't have it any other way!"<br />
<br />
But till we start talking about these issues, nothing will change. Even at a family level - remember, true change begins within ourselves and our homes; only then can we start to address these issues at a community level.<br />
<br />
I sincerely hope and pray that God gives us the strength, courage, and wisdom to be true agents of change and help ourselves, our families, our communities, our nations, and our world to heal and become a better place for all. Ameen.<br />
<br />Aisha http://www.blogger.com/profile/10064839444177094891noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7347785786556922085.post-14213408627738816412014-01-22T19:59:00.001-08:002014-01-22T19:59:24.769-08:00FB Post: Liked. The End. My siblings and I were talking recently about the use of facebook and social media; I was telling my sister that I use Facebook as a means to raise awareness about issues we as a community don't often feel comfortable talking about -but the reality is, for the majority of us (myself included), facebook is just another means of social entertainment. (not undermining that some of the greatest revolutions happened through faacebook and twitter - but generally speaking). Anyways, back to my point; my sister made an interesting observation; for instance, when I post randomness related to the weather or caffeine, the number of likes and comments I receive on those outnumber many of the other more "serious" posts related to say child pornography for example. I think that got only one like, and no comments. Why is it ok for us to be silent? Because the reality is we choose what we want to see; if we don't want to learn about Syria or Sri Lanka or Bangladesh, or dirt in our own backyard, all we do is hit the "x" on our browser and voila! - it disappears from our screens, reassuring us that all is right in our world - the world we've created that fits so perfectly to our likings, needs and desires.We may ignore it today - but it may be our reality tomorrow....Aisha http://www.blogger.com/profile/10064839444177094891noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7347785786556922085.post-31180004874203362742014-01-07T22:04:00.001-08:002014-01-07T22:09:16.408-08:00Thinking out loud...Chances are that if you're reading this, you are richer than most people on this planet; you have the basic necessities of life (food, clothing, shelter), and you have some additional luxuries such as access to the internet, you can read and write (and yes, believe it or not, even now, education is a luxury which many still can't afford), family, friends...if you and I were to sit and count all of the blessings we have in our lives, myself included, we could likely go on for quite some time just talking about that. But what I want to tackle today is what are we doing with these luxuries, myself included.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Take money for instance - as young adults, we prize ourselves on the fact that we have a job and are able to pay the bills and make ends meet; but what's the point of all this money if all we do is the bare minimum - pay bills, and go on shopping and eating sprees? Or what about our time - which I like to refer to as this foreign concept that I can longer make sense of - in between life's obligations like work, school, job, friends, family, religion - there's very little left of it - and even that which we do have, I'll be the first one to admit that I should receive the procrastinator, time-waster award of the year...the case in point is this - what are we really doing with our lives? Are we just going about as robots, treating every phase in our life as a ritual practice - minding our own business, making ends meet, immune or better yet, somehow trained ourselves to ignore and desensitize ourselves to all the turmoil, trials and tribulations that we know are happening - in our own backyards and all around the world....</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I was reading the article by Nosheen Iqbal about Dr. Abbas Khan's mother's response to her son's murder in Syria (<a href="http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jan/07/british-doctor-abbas-khan-syrian-jail-murdered">http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jan/07/british-doctor-abbas-khan-syrian-jail-murdered</a>) - who basically left this world serving others; he first went to Turkey for ten days to treat injured Syrian refugees and then went to Syria where he was captured and then eventually killed - for serving others. I personally know of another friend's husband who died in Egypt while peacefully protesting, someone else who's being held captive, family of friends who live in fear every day in Iraq - women afraid of being raped, men afraid of being kidnapped...and in our own Canadian backyards, human trafficking (yup right here: <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/thunder-bay/native-canadian-women-sold-on-u-s-ships-researcher-says-1.1325167">http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/thunder-bay/native-canadian-women-sold-on-u-s-ships-researcher-says-1.1325167</a>), youth suicides in Northern communities - conditions equivalent to third world countries if not worse, domestic violence/abuse...the list goes on and on...</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Let's be proactive in our efforts - it's our moral and basic human responsibility to help one another, stand up and support one another; stand side by side against oppression, violence, poverty, abuse...I'm not saying we pack our bags and go, but let's think and be creative in how we can give back with all the blessings we do have in our lives...whether it be through donations, volunteering for an organization, or just helping someone in need...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #b45f06; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;">"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in </span></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #b45f06; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;"><br /></span></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #b45f06; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;">the </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;">service of others</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;">." - </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;">Mahatma Gandhi</span> </span></b></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></div>
Aisha http://www.blogger.com/profile/10064839444177094891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7347785786556922085.post-49875254747328971782013-12-30T14:08:00.002-08:002013-12-30T14:08:50.106-08:00New Year - Old Trials, Old Tribulations I was at Reviving the Islamic Spirit Conference (an annual youth led conference) and happened to stop by the Toronto Police booth in the Bazaar area; I was speaking to the officer about his work and he told me that one of the reasons they were at this conference was to break the stereotypical image of cops as portrayed in the media, and actually highlight that the police department has a wide range of services and areas of work. He then went on to ask me why I didn't consider pursuing this field of work. I very simply stated the obvious - cus' I'm brown and my mom would never approve; and that's when he told me that in Ontario, they have hijabs created as part of uniforms, but they need someone to wear it;<br />
<br />
I asked myself (silently), more than representing the diverse community in Toronto, why would we need hijabi officers in the community? He told me that in the Rexdale area, they unfortunately (remember we live in 2013 going on to 2014), get many cases of domestic abuse and he told me that a lot of these women are uncomfortable disclosing to the officers their situation, let alone the details. He told me, imagine then the level of comfort and openness they would feel if they saw a female, hijabi as an officer.<br />
<br />
When he said that I remembered my time helping out with Mercy Mission Canada and the launch and establishment of the Women's Resource Centre and the Muslim Women's Helpline - during our conversations in the preliminary stages of the work, the issue of domestic violence and abuse was and I think continues to be, at the forefront in ensuring victims of such abuse (some of the stories will haunt you to the very core of your being) have an outlet and a support system they can rely on. I shared this with the cop and he unfortunately attested to the reality of domestic abuse in our communities.<br />
<br />
I took his card and flyer, said I'd consider it and left the bazaar. Shortly after (literally an hour later), a dear friend called me to ask what she should do, as she too was starting to find herself in a similar situation of domestic abuse. Two weeks ago, another friend of a friend was filing for divorce because she couldn't take the abuse anymore and called the cops on her husband.<br />
<br />
The sad reality is that no matter how "advanced" or "feminist" our societies have become, the reality is that domestic violence and abuse - emotional, physical and psychological - happen on a daily and regular basis; some women withstand it because they have kids, some withstand it because they aren't able to find work and won't be able to live on their own, and others do it because patiently persevering it will give them reward and God will help them out.<br />
<br />
Whether you agree with me or not, it's your prerogative. But there are a couple of things I will say:<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li> If you're in such a situation, get out. It takes no genius to tell you that kids growing up in a broken home doesn't help them, and it certainly won't help the parents. Don't let culture and the "shame" you'll bring to the family's name stop you from doing so. </li>
<li>No man has the right to treat you like trash. In the eyes of God, we are all equal - yes men and women were made differently - but God didn't prefer one gender over the other. In fact, there is a Hadith where the Prop Muhammad SAW said that the best of you is he who is best to his wives (paraphrased).</li>
<li>And if you're sticking around because of patience, then I leave you a quote by Yasmin Mogahed from her video on Sabr (Patience): <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mzFJikLyG8">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mzFJikLyG8</a></li>
</ol>
<div>
"A lot of times, women are told that if they're being mistreated or abused, they're told to be patient. This concept of being patient against oppression is something that is not an Islamic concept...our body belongs to Allah swt...if someone is mistreating our body, they're mistreating a trust that Allah swt has given us and so it's upon us to take care of it; and part of taking care of it is not letting anyone harm it, oppress it, take over it."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />Aisha http://www.blogger.com/profile/10064839444177094891noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7347785786556922085.post-19388431057976577132013-12-18T18:18:00.001-08:002013-12-18T18:18:20.203-08:00I wish. I wish we lived in a world where everything was fair and just<br />
I wish we lived in a world where a child could grow up in a complete home - not a broken home<br />
Not scarred by the harsh realities of the real world<br />
Where a husband fought with his wife every day<br />
And the child silently cried and watched it all unravel<br />
<br />
I wish we lived in a world where a child's innocence remained<br />
<br />
I wish we lived in a world where men respected women and women respected men<br />
I wish we lived in a world that was free<br />
Free from poverty<br />
Free from discrimination<br />
Free from racism<br />
Free to speak and take a stand, without having to sacrifice one's life<br />
<br />
I wish and I continue to wish<br />
Only to realize that if my wishes were to come true<br />
I would be in heaven<br />
Not on earth<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Aisha http://www.blogger.com/profile/10064839444177094891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7347785786556922085.post-88385387200685063322013-12-14T20:55:00.001-08:002013-12-14T20:55:16.926-08:00Give a little...What better way to practice writing then starting a blog and sharing your thoughts? I've decided to join in - a long time coming but alas, here I am.<br />
<br />
First topic of discussion: Snow. It's supposed to be the biggest snow storm here in Toronto and I believe across the broader GTA as well. I find it so interesting that whenever we have "too much" of something (that is not approved by us, dare I say), our city and we as people become paralyzed. Countless posts I've read on Facebook today about how people are upset because their plans have been destroyed by the weather, or not sure what to do because they're just stuck at home. And I'm not going to lie - I'm guilty of that too (when there's a heat alert cus' I can't stand the summer). But point in case, we unfortunately have become victims to our wants and needs and too often, forget about the the things God the Almighty has blessed us with. For instance, the winter jackets we have to keep us warm, the ability to go inside and drink a warm cup of hot chocolate, or just being able to curl up at home with a good ol' book - or in our times, better referred to as tablets and kobos and kindles.<br />
<br />
While we continue to complain about these so called first world problems, there are those suffering across the world in places like Syria for instance, who would give anything to be where you are at this very moment, or where I am - at home with my family, with a roof over my head, a full stomach, and most importantly warmth.<br />
<br />
Do your part- even if it's only a dollar you can spare to help those who are less fortunate than us. Give a little. You'll earn a lot more in return - if we only but knew.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://islamicreliefcanada.org/">http://islamicreliefcanada.org/</a>Aisha http://www.blogger.com/profile/10064839444177094891noreply@blogger.com2